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I Sit By The Window
by Joseph Brodsky

I said fate plays a game without a score,
and who needs fish if you’ve got caviar?
The triumph of the Gothic style would come to pass and turn you on–no need for coke, or grass.
I sit by the window. Outside, an aspen.
When I loved, I loved deeply. It wasn’t often.

I said the forest’s only part of a tree.
Who needs the whole girl if you’ve got her knee?
Sick of the dust raised by the modern era,
the Russian eye would rest on an Estonian spire.
I sit by the window. The dishes are done.
I was happy here. But I won’t be again.

I wrote: The bulb looks at the flower in fear,
and love, as an act, lacks a verb; the zer-
o Euclid thought the vanishing point became
wasn’t math–it was the nothingness of Time.
I sit by the window. And while I sit
my youth comes back. Sometimes I’d smile. Or spit.

I said that the leaf may destory the bud;
what’s fertile falls in fallow soil–a dud;
that on the flat field, the unshadowed plain
nature spills the seeds of trees in vain.
I sit by the window. Hands lock my knees.
My heavy shadow’s my squat company.

My song was out of tune, my voice was cracked,
but at least no chorus can ever sing it back.
That talk like this reaps no reward bewilders
no one–no one’s legs rest on my sholders.
I sit by the window in the dark. Like an express,
the waves behind the wavelike curtain crash.

A loyal subject of these second-rate years,
I proudly admit that my finest ideas
are second-rate, and may the future take them
as trophies of my struggle against suffocation.
I sit in the dark. And it would be hard to figure out
which is worse; the dark inside, or the darkness out.

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Small Victories

Small Victories

When moving, it seems absolutely necessary to take the occasional break to sit and look at all you’ve accomplished. As I put on Miles Davis to help soothe my busy mind I glanced up to see the only part of my house that is peaceful. Simple, white, the glow of a candle… Deep breath… I can do this. Taking joy in the small victories tonight. And hey, this is my first post via phone, so there’s another one. <3

Photographers Must See: The Mitty Experience

“The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”

I stumbled across this title at a Redbox a few days ago. I rented it seeing that Ben Stiller and Kristen Wiig were the leads – I mean that has to be good. And it was. It really really was a beautiful film. The plot revolves around the ending of an era for Life Magazine and how this affects it’s Photographers and everyone who works there. Very poignant storyline for the time we’re living in. For anyone with an adventurous spirit, for those who longs for something bigger… this is your film. Gorgeous cinematography. A feast for the eyes.

Spotify has the entire Soundtrack (which I’m listening to now), just search the movie title.

Change

imageThe moon from the front porch of our home in Austin, TX

image_1Flatiron Building, NYC, Near where I worked and went to school

image_2Clouds above a mall I worked at for a season, Austin, TX

image_3A stretch of road that feels like home, Alton, IL

image_5Sun burst on a “brink of tears” day, Austin, TX

image_7Parking lot office view, Austin, TX

image_8First snow this winter (…First snow in 4 years aside from a light dusting once), Grafton, IL

image_11Surroundings while talking to a friend, Alton, IL

 

It finally happened, the pilgrimage from Austin happened just before April broke. Now Adam, my sister, her husband, their baby, their dog, Mom, Dad, and I all live under one cozy roof. Tonight we had dinner together in what felt like the first time since we got here. Mom, Dad, Adam and I prepared the meal while my sister and her husband picked up afterwards. I’ve always wondered what it’s like to live in a large family with tons of siblings, maybe it feels something like this.

Work has been absolutely crazy for me the past few weeks… but those deadlines have come and gone. The rush has subsided. So now – we settle into this new life. Meals, laundry, and bathrooms for six can get tricky, but we’re all learning new patterns and ways to be flexible. We’re juggling sickness, baby sleeping habits, three marriages, and a dog… it’s a bit of a scramble. Thankfully we’re all trying to figure out what our new roles are in this environment. I’m finding the best thing I can offer is to listen. Listen when things are hard, confusing, or even perfect. Listen first, share after.

If you’ve ever received this message on your phone, “Cannot take photo, not enough free space” — you can feel my frustration. In hopes of freeing up space for new photos, I often scroll through old images and finally share them with the friend who it reminded me of, but more recently I share them here. This way I’ve released them, maybe not saving them in the safest way possible, but they were meant to be sketches. The camera roll on my phone is my sketchbook. Here are a few exhibits that I’ve enjoyed that line up with the concept of change.

 

:::St. Louis Art Museum :::

Richard Artschwager

photoFavorite line: “They activate overlooked spaces, functioning as sculptural punctuation marks.”

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Gerhard Richter

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image_2One of Gerhard Richter’s “Overpainted Photographs”… Changed. my. life.

imagePardon the blur….

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:::The Contemporary Austin:::

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Marianne Vitale

photoAs usual, the last line is the fave: “With its dark grandeur and imposing presence, the scent of burnt wood lingering on its surface, this powerful junction manifests a disorienting assemblage of charred and blackened crossroads whose interior spaces transport the viewer to another world.”  ((…I know you could just read the last line in the photo above, and probably did, but there’s a connection between typing/writing and understanding for me. The words pierce me deeper when I rewrite them.))

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image_1Left wondering what the one red leg is about…

:::

Liam Gillick

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image_2Like a still photograph, but shot with video. Most likely shot on a tripod, only slight movements in the water and breezes through the tall grass gave it away. This approach literally stunned me. I had never seen a still photograph move like that.

imageEntire stretch of road filmed upside down. The rise and fall of the road made for an amazing sensation.

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Lonely Road Photos

It’s almost been a month since my last entry. Wow, life gets in the way. My days (and nights) have been filled with work, thus driving to and from work is my pastime. Sometimes singing, laughing with a morning show, talking with a friend… almost always a little lonely.

Solace in the light and nature that surrounds

Swirling through a space incredibly fast – I miss it’s beauty

So, time to slow down

>>>  >>>  >>>

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